LGBT friendly blog focused on writing and personal growth. Topics will vary but will include top surgery, photography, cats, LGBT pride, preschool, childcare, plants, and small town midwestern life.
This is a picture of me at 3 am just before heading to the hospital for top surgery. I had some pretty intense anxiety the night before, and I barely slept. Once I got to the hospital, though, I kind of calmed down. Even when they were rolling me into the OR, I was just ready. Kind of zoned out, maybe. I'm not sure if maybe I was dissociating, or if I was really just ready and everything felt right.
Even when I woke up from surgery, around 10, I was feeling good. Totally drugged, but no fear or confusion like the last time I had surgery. It was pretty relieving. I know I said some weird stuff, though. I asked for my mom and my friend, who were there with me. And then I asked for my brothers, who were definitely not present. And I talked about my cats A LOT.
I've been fairly spaced out since then, but it's good. I'm blaming it on the healing and not on mental health stuff. We'll see how the next few days go.